Wednesday, July 18, 2007
A lot has changed...
I don't even know where to begin... I am going into the Navy, before everyone gets all teary eyed, I'll only be gone 6 months. Long enough to miss all of you too much. I'm leaving on the 21st of April.Yes, Chris and I broke up. I think he'll agree it felt more like a friendship than much else. But I am "dating" Daniel Murphy yet again...the man loves me as I do him. He's even saying he'll wait for me when I leave to pursue my dream. Have faith in us. Dan and I are going on a road trip from the 16th to the 20th. We're going to TN to go to Gatlinburg, KT so I can meet his father, and OH to see my older sis and visit Yellow Springs (a place that is still living in the 60's).Dan grew up in Yellow Springs which explains a lot about him. And I'm getting my tattoo! It's going on the lower part of my back and it'll be of a faerie. This trip is going to be so fun. Between working and spending every waking moment with Dan and Jessica Wooten, I haven't had much time to get on my journal or spend time with all of you. I'm sorry for that. especially you angel. But I hope to see all of you before I leave.Well, I wish I could say more but that's all there is.OH! Everyone needs to lay of Melissa. Let her go. It's best for her.Love Always,Red
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6 comments:
its very nice to hear from you deary. and i must say...before i forget....you have earned SOOOO many kool points for not only getting a faerie on your back but actually SPELLING IT the way you did. i hope youll be happy in the navy. and i hope to hear from you again before you do leave. good luck hun.
hey contact me sometime...i have my own website you know....and i ahven't talked to you in forever
nnnh! you're too late with the "no getting teary" admonition... *sniff*... jeezus.. i will certainly miss ye. but you will be back! and definitely in time for my birthday ^_~, so i guess i'll manage... *sigh**hugs and love*and hey. you get there and ya feel the need to drop any lines or whatever, send 'em! *pokeprod* i'll email ye with my snail-mail addy, use it to your discretion, lol
*hugs* take care of yourself till you can come back. Jeremy says hi-- he's currently out in New Mexico and won't be back (for a good long while) till summer-- if we're lucky ;_; He'll be here from the 18th of April to the 22nd, so hell, if you want us to stop by, we wanna see ya before you go *hug* BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!! >< if you're going into any dangerous situations...well, we all want you coming back safe and sound cause we all love you. Besides, you're Stacey! You have to come back safe and sound! ><Congrats on Dan! I hope you guys find happiness with each other ^^
Red...I don't even know where to start...but i'm glad you gave me the opportunity to write this in your journal, because i don't beleive i'm ever going to be able to say this with the same honesty, and lack of humor, that i'm going to attempt now.Stacey, I just want to say that i love you. I never thought that that would be possible so fully as i do because of you. I spent so much of my life being alone...being afraid to get close...that i never thought i'd be able to again. You've shown me that there is a heart still inside me. You've broke down the wall that i had put around my heart, and made it possible for me to find love in the one that i am with now. I give you a large amount of credit for me having the courage to be with her, and i don't beleive i ever told you, or anybody else, that.I've attempted to get close before...both in the romantic sense, and the friend sense...and realized that before i came up here, i'd never been able to be close to somebody without wonderng if they had ulterior motives as to why they were with me...this is a very bad way to live...and it would have eventually destroyed me...i know that now. But even though you and i worked out horribly as a couple (you never did have good taste in boyfriends....that's all i'm saying for now), i have never, nor will i ever, find a more trusting confidante, a more trusting friend, or a person that will be there for me more then you. I thought i had found this before with Martyne, but i realize now that she didn't love who i was...she loved who i could have been. That person isn't who i am...you and Amanda know who that is, and you love me for him. I can never thank you enough.This is what makes you having to leave so hard. The memory that keeps playing in my head was the day that we thought i was moving to Tennessee...for those who don't know (and where the hell have you been if you don't?), Stacey wrapped her arms around me, tears already sliding down her face, and said to me again and again..."You can't leave me here...you can't leave me here alone..." Well Red, now i'm wanting to pound on your chest screaming "WHY IS IT OK FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME THEN?!?!?!?!?!" But i know this is something beyond our control...and maybe this will help us...give us a chance to start-over so that all the lil' nit-picky aggravations (mostly on my end), will have time to disperse and we can start anew.The ONLY thing that allows me to remotely let you off the hook is the fact that i'm not alone. I have Nimue...the girl i don't beleive i'd ever be able to be as close to had you not come into my life...every time i look into her eyes, i look into my own soul, and i know that this girl and i will be able to spend eternity together...this is the woman that i will love even after i stop drawing breath. But never doubt Stacey, that i love you as well....Amanda now has my heart for all time, but i know that she doesn't mind the special place that you hold there....the two of you mean more to me then i mean to myself sometimes.But Amanda isn't leaving...you are...which is why i'm saying all this now...i know you will be back...for once i know that someone will come back...but Red...hurry back...we love you too much for ya to be gone for long...-Just a lil' trip inside my heart...the ride'll wait 'till you get back...
You've sunk to a new low. This journal entry was to say g'bye to all of my friends, the ones that love me, that will miss me, and that count. What the hell are you doing posting in here?!? What do you hope to accomplish? If you are so worried that everyone will turn on you because of our little tiff, then making that post was not bright, then again, nobody has ever accused you of being so. Something you've failed to learn in our four year wasted friendship is that everyone's lives does not revolve around your drama. Get the memo...nobody cares and they're sick of hearing it! Get a hobby (one that does not involve stabbing your best friend in the back...that's just my preference). By the way Jessi loves me anyway...nice try in getting her to fall for your pity party, but just like at everything else, you failed. You are the weakest link...g'bye!It must kill you to wake up every morning and know that Daniel Ray Murphy is in love with me...sleep well~Stacey
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